Comedian and actor Andy Dick is currently on the road promoting his new flick Division III: Football’s Finest. The R-rated ensemble comedy – co-starring Marshall Cook (who also directed), Will Sasso, Bryan Callen, Debra Wilson, Greg Ftizsimmons and more – centers around a struggling college football team who enlists a wildly racist coach (Dick) to drum up some media attention. Dick and Cook are screening the movie and holding Q&A sessions at a bunch of colleges across the country (full tour list below) in preparation for its Nov. 18 release.
Before Dick set out on his college tour, I chatted with the man to get some info about Division III (of course), but also about where he is in life and how he’s feeling. You probably know Dick has been battling a host of demons – maybe every demon available – for decades. During our discussion, he told me the last two years, in fact, have been the worst of his life. But that period, thankfully, is over. He’s in a great place right now. He’s sober and is voluntarily participating in an outpatient rehab program. He also voluntarily cooperates in random drug testing. Note: it was not ordered by a court; it was totally his idea, in an effort to keep himself honest. The point is, he’s living healthy. And I sincerely hope it stays that way.
I’m going to post the full interview next week on Laughspin, but for now I wanted to share a portion, wherein Dick reveals how he once was offered a job on Saturday Night Live, but turned it down. Dick tells the story below:
Early on in my career they just asked me if I wanted to do Saturday Night Live. Literally, they were just offering it to me. I said no because I had just come off The Ben Stiller Show, but the truth of the matter is I was afraid I would not be able to do a few characters every week. I didn’t have the confidence that I do now. Looking back, I could’ve easily [done it.] You just zero in on one character and you do it week after week. I could’ve done my version of the Target Lady—which I love, by the way. I really love everything Kristen Wiig does. It just drives me nuts. She’s the funniest person alive, to me, right now.
Who asked you to do the show?
It was the people at Brillstein-Grey. Lorne Michaels was over there. And Phil Hartman. Bernie Brillstein basically started SNL. Bernie Brillstein managed John Belushi. It was like, ‘here’s my audition. It’s called The Ben Stiller Show.’ I did 20 or 30 characters. But I didn’t feel confident. Well, first of all I couldn’t do any of those characters because they were owned by Fox. I felt like I was depleted of characters and I couldn’t create any more. There was just no way—especially in a live setting. I was petrified. For The Ben Stiller Show we shot every single scene like a short film. So if I felt we needed to, we can just start again. You can’t do that on Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live seems like a hard gig.
I can do it now. But I’m 45 years old. What’s the point? I’m too old for that club, anyway. They wouldn’t have me— unless they start a Saturday Night Live: Seniors; Saturday Night Dead.
So, let’s say they asked you today to be on the show as one of the main cast members. You wouldn’t do it?
I would do it. I would jump at that opportunity. But you’re talking to a guy who, if Dancing With The Stars called, I’d say, ‘I’m putting my tap shoes on now, bitch.’
Have you reached out to Dancing With The Stars? You’d be perfect for that show.
Well, the thing is— that was another one of those missed opportunities. They asked me to do Dancing With The Stars in the first season. This was before it was a sensation. I had no idea what it was, and I was like, ‘That sounds weird. I don’t think that’s going to work.’ And, of course, it became a gigantic phenomenon and a year later I said, ‘Yeah, I actually would like to be on. It’ll be fun. It’ll help revitalize my career.’ And they said, ‘No thank you.’ They got Hulk Hogan’s daughter. Like what, really?
Check out the trailer for Division III: Football’s Finest below as well as all the screening tour dates. You can get more info on the movie at marshallcook.com.
10/13: Columbia College, IL
10/15: Stage 773 Chicago, IL
10/17: University of Kansas, KS
10/18: Comedy Works, Denver, CO
10/19: University of Colorado Boulder, CO
10/20: Boise State University, ID
10/22: LITE, Lafayette, LA
10/24: Tulane University, LA
10/25: Stardome, Birmingham, AL
10/26: Screening, Macon, GA
10/27: Screening, Wise, VA
10/29: University of Cincinnati, OH (PENDING)
11/3: Edinboro University, PA
11/10: Screening at The Roxy 14, Santa Rosa, CA
11/15: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA