“I’d like to welcome everyone to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe,” conservative pundit Ann Coulter deadpanned in her opening remarks at the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe Saturday. It was a fitting depiction of a night initially billed to set fire to actor Rob Lowe, but soon became a searing pileup on the controversial conservative, including jokes calling Coulter a “racist cunt,” “hatchet-faced bitch,” and comparing her appearance to that of a racehorse and a scarecrow.
Lowe addressed the many puzzled Comedy Central fans wondering why a non-comedian like Coulter was included in the roast.
“I think the best daises are the daises that have people where you’re like what the fuck?” Lowe said. “You need every flavor to make these things go right and cut them all together for a show.”
The Comedy Central special airs Labor Day (watch previews here) and features former NFL quarterback Peyton Manning, folk singer Jewel, actors Rob Riggle and Ralph Macchio, and comedians Jeff Ross, Jimmy Carr, Pete Davidson, Nikki Glaser and roast master David Spade.
The three-hour affair became a parade of bomb-hurling on a stage with no love for the conservative pundit.
“Ann is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. It’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself,” British comedian Jimmy Carr said.
“She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan,” said Roast Master David Spade. “It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen her laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.”
“Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf,” comedian Nikki Glaser said. “Ann, you’re awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”
“How do I roast someone from hell?” comedian Jeff Ross said. “Ann, you are the only woman ever to sexually harass Roger Ailes.”
Coulter, who says she has never seen a roast before, told The Hollywood Reporter that the Comedy Central event “bored” her, that she didn’t hear any jokes on the dais until she herself took the mic, and that she had no idea how she ended up being invited, “it showed up on my book publicity schedule,” she said.
Though she was booed by the audience throughout her entire 7-minute set, she managed to get her share of jabs in, including a cheeky shot that she was only there to promote her new book In Trump We Trust: E Pluribus Awesome! “I’m only here for all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all of the talented performers tonight,” she said sarcastically. “It has nothing to do with the book I published four days ago.”
“There is nothing you can tell me to discourage me,” she added. “My whole career has been an Ann Coulter roast.”