• Christopher Titus: Neverlution

    titus350All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players…auditioning for another sequel to Jackass: Yup, that about summarizes the thesis of Neverlution, Christopher Titus’ latest riotous eruption from Comedy Central Records (available on June 28). The companion television special premieres July 3 at 9 p.m. EST on Comedy Central.

    For 105 hypnotic minutes, Titus points his blowtorch of indignation at his prey and sears talentless celebrities (“Lady Gaga is proof that David Bowie raped Carol Burnett”), worthless politicians (“Two wars…and Bush got elected…again! You’re fucking kidding me”) and, worse, pusillanimous parents who surrender to their massive, mewling offspring (“Hey, you’ve got to abuse your kids…a little bit”).

    Titus’ reflective side holds up a funhouse mirror to the world, then the instructive but incensed drill sergeant in this uncommon comedian smashes that mirror across the skulls of the legions that pay to hear his hilarious hectoring.

    “We just went though the worst decade since disco and how did we deal with it: We bitched on the Internet, got medical marijuana cards and played Grand Theft Auto,” he scolds with his usual biting blend of cynicism, sarcasm and realism.

    More showman than shaman, Titus blusters for change, yes, but for comic effect really; it’s his job, after all. He harangues the left and right. He japes blacks and whites. He mocks racists (“If you can name six different NASCAR drivers and the erectile dysfunction drug that they’re sponsored by, you may have a problem that we have a black president,” starts a trio of jokes that sounds like either a clever homage to Jeff Foxworthy or an inside joke meant to jab the Blue Collar Comic with the penchant for redneck humor) and fanatical activists. His dual intent: demystify and demythologize all sides. “The truth is the truth,” he declares, only half humorously. “We’re all brilliant and we’re all douche bags. That’s how it works, man.”

    On the ominous and uproarious “The DMV Incident,” he skewers what amounts to parental correctness, the invidious belief among delusional moms and dads of every tribe that their little lumps of love (screamin’ demons, to others in their proximity) ought to be exempt from even the gentlest discipline.


    “This country you’re sitting in right now was not built on love, hugs, time-outs and trophies you didn’t earn,” he proclaims later in his supreme rant. “This country was built on shame, humiliation and striving to be better. By the way, if you’re in this room right now and you’re successful…you didn’t get there because someone loved you too much or gave you too many hugs or you got a trophy when you lost. You did it because at one point in your life, somebody turned to you and said you’re a loser, and in that second, you decided to bust your ass to make them choke on that sentence.… Or, your parents gave you the money.”

    Oh how this one nation under sedation infuriates and amuses Christopher Titus.

    Snag yourself a copy of Neverlution. Just click the image below. Seriously, do it.

    John Delery

    John Delery has written thousands of articles and millions of words in his career, and still he has professional goals: He wants "Be honest with me, Doc: Will I ever tweet again?" to someday supplant "Take my wife...please" as the Great American punch line.

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