• Community recap: Inspector Spacetime, Annie’s fake marriage, Troy’s left out

    Let’s just get to it, shall we?

    Inspector Spacetime! Yay! In bed with Britta and Troy. Yay? I don’t know. Still undecided. I don’t hate them as a couple, per se, they’re just unexpected. And have questionable chemistry. Uh-oh, a knock at the door. It’s Abed: He and Troy have to plan for the Inspector Spacetime convention. Cut to a Britta stunt double with a terrible wig and an excellent butt Maguyver-ing her way out of the apartment—and then back into the apartment. Turns out Abed’s known Troy and Britta have been doing it for weeks—why does everyone think Abed’s some fragile thing? Anyway, good, that’s out of the way. I couldn’t bear an entire season of pointless Chandler-and-Monica-ing around.

    So, convention time. Jeff and Annie are hitching a ride to go skiing (and I’m sure they’ll go skiing, not get stuck at the convention for the entire episode. Calling it.). They’ve left Pierce out again. (Have they learned nothing from his haunted mansion? Unless… this episode was maybe not supposed to immediately follow Halloween? Don’t give me too much credit for figuring that out, you guys. When I got press screeners of the first two episodes of the season, it was the premiere and this week’s episode. I’m no Inspector Spacetime, you guys. I’m just a writer with wine.)

    Abed wears a bathrobe to the convention. Ooh, female Inspector! Minerva. (Lucy Lawless?) Britta thinks she’s cool. Abed, not so much. Buuuuut…everyone’s entitled to her opinion. (This either signifies Abed accepting Troy and Britta’s relationship or Abed having a psychotic break. Let’s stay tuned.)

    On the Jeff and Annie front, a boy-scout-valanche means the slopes are closed. Wah-wah. But also, SEE??? They’ll be stuck at the convention for the entire episode! I am so good at this, you guys. I should totally write for Community. Or at least participate in some activity that involves figuring out, then printing what’s going to happen in an episode. Actually, that person sounds like a loathsome buzzkill. I don’t want to be your Community-twist-boner killer, so I’ll try to cut that out. Not that that was much of a twist. And you guys seem smart. What were we talking about?

    Annie wants to stay at the convention. Jeff does not. Then he finds out he bears a striking resemblance to Inspector Spacetime supervillain Thoraxis. And now he really does not. Peace out, Winger.

    Turns out Abed has a Britta, too. His name is Toby. (And Toby has a Troy, who has a Britta. What? Abed and Toby are bonded by the fact that they’ve both been ditched by their best friends. Okay, clearer.) TAKE THAT, TROY. (Sorry. Teenage me whose friends were ditching her for boys sometimes rears her ugly jealous head. But seriously, TAKE THAT, TROY.) Toby is the guy who plays Rebel Wilson’s brother in Bridesmaids and Jim Gaffigan’s partner in Portlandia and who I’m sure has a name but I am too lazy to IMDB. [ed. note. It’s Matt Lucas, Carla!] He is the world’s biggest Spacetime superfan. And he is dismissive of Troy. Hmm. I know I just told Troy to take that twice, but I am suspicious of this Toby fellow. (It’s like when you call your mom a bitch and your friend is all, “You’re right, you mom is a total bitch” and suddenly you’re like, “Hold the phone—you are not my friend!”)

    Shirley and Pierce crash and are immediately led away. Intrigue. (Kind of.)

    Up in the room Jeff rented before he fled, Annie’s ordering room service—for two. Ruh-roh, girlfriend is about to play some schizophrenia-grade Let’s Pretend up in here. Why did Jeff leave??? They could be DOING it in that room! (I know what you’re thinking, and I’m still rooting for Jeff and Britta, but I’m not opposed to a little Jeff and Annie action. Truthfully, I get the sense Jeff could have chemistry with Shirley, that’s just how chemistry-y he is.)

    Especially since…turns out Jeff has not left. He’s still looking for a way out of Nerdville, when he’s approached by some hotsy-totsy broad who thinks he’s the actor who plays Thoraxis. Cue lie-telling!

    Ohhhh, Shirley and Pierce are focus-groupers. They apparently represent some significant quadrants, and the folks who want to produce an American version of Spacetime want to pick their brain. Cue high jinks!

    Oh no, Troy’s sad. That stupid Toby is stealing Abed.

    Pierce is confused at the focus group. Yawn.

    Jeff is still on the couch with the hot nerd.

    Troy is trailing Abed and Troy. What I can’t tell is whether Abed is intentionally excluding Troy. Is Abed capable of that kind of bitchery? I don’t think so, but maybe I’m underestimating him. Abed’s never intentionally cruel, but his particular oddity does have him operating like a vindictive teen girl, who would tell you that silence and dismissiveness are your most effective tools. (Not that I was like that or anything.)

    Meanwhile, up in the Wingers’ suite, Annie’s ordering a diffuser for Jeff’s hair. Mmmmkay. I feel like this kind of scenario—wherein a quirky girl decides to pretend to have a guy she doesn’t—is a pretty common rom-com trope. Readers who have done this, is it rewarding? If I get takeout in a little while and order a burger and a veggie burger and give my name as Mrs. Scott Speedman, will I feel better about myself? I’m honestly asking. Because I’m not above trying this.

    More focus group stuff. (Poor Shirley and Pierce. The writers really struggled to figure out what to do with them this week, huh?) Oh, wait, Pierce’s red journal from Vallo-ween. The blond with the long legs. Does that mean I was right about the episode order? Or could last week’s episode still be meant to come before? I don’t know. (See above re: wine.)

    Uh-oh, Jeff’s been caught with the hot nerd. Mrs. Winger is not happy. Multiple drinks in face.

    Britta calls Troy “honey.” (Cute.)

    Toby’s all starry-eyed dreaming of the life he and Abed will have in London, but Abed already has a life and isn’t about to give it up. Also, Toby is dressed like the third Inspector, who is famous for trying to strangle his constable. No bueno. Except, bueno, because Toby’s crazytalk (they’re magical, their human friends bring them down, yada yada) makes Abed realize how much he needs and appreciates Troy. Yay! Best friends forever! Except, oops, Toby (which I keep typing at Troy, because those names are really similar, which I’m realizing right this second is probably not an accident) locks Abed in a phone booth. Oy. Troy will find him.

    Poor Troy. He is REALLY not taking this whole Abed thing well. He is so me in 9th grade when my best friend Sandy Schuman started dating a senior on the fencing team and I had to spend all practice actually practicing and flirting with boys by myself when the WHOLE POINT of joining fencing was to find boyfriends and then she went ahead and did it without me. Bitch.

    Troy finds Abed. Toby relents. I had no doubt. Best friends forever.

    Jeff’s been up in the marital suite, seen the champagne, the roses, the diffused hair. And now Annie’s sitting on that same couch where that slutty nerd was before, and Jeff wants to know what’s going on. No, actually, he wants to know if he “needs to worry about this.” OH MY GOD, WINGER. Every now and then he shows a glimmer of the callous jagweed we knew in season one, and this is one of those moments. Give a girl a break, Jeff! Because you like Annie—you made out with her once! And also? She’s young and a little naïve. And also? You can’t hear me, because you are a fictional character. But still!

    Anyway, no, he does not need to worry about this. (Jerk.) Annie was just daydreaming. And she was hurt that he ditched her. But here’s what Annie got wrong, so sayeth Winger: If they were married, she wouldn’t find him flirting with another woman in a hotel bar. (Ladyparts aquiver. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? There is so much high school emotion going on for me tonight, you guys. This is exactly the kind of romance-novel garbage I totally fell for (hi, fall for) when I was a teenager: tense drama followed by loin-enflaming resolution. Annie, I’m telling you, it is not healthy, girl. Also not healthy? Continually addressing fictitious characters as if they were real. Noted.)

    The group convenes. You’re welcome/I did my best from Pierce and Shirley re: American Spacetime. (Foreshadowing?) Ooh, Winger’s shirt is off and everyone’s bowing before Thoraxis. Except not me. I did not move. And nothing is quivering. It’s NOT. You shut up.

    JENNY GARTH AND LUKE PERRY! Oh my god, okay, now I’m nearly certain that I’ve had my own psychotic break and traveled through space and time to Long Island circa 1994. Is that how good Community’s writers are? There were able to manifest spacetime travel for viewers of their Spacetime episode? (I would not put it past them.) I super dig the American version of Spacetime, BTdubs. Abed does not. But Abed’s been wrong before.

    Okay, kiddos. I’ve got to go order dinner for me and Ben from Felicity. Until next week!

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    Carla Sosenko

    Carla Sosenko is a writer and editor from Brooklyn, N.Y. Her work has appeared in Marie Claire, Self, Jezebel, The Hairpin, The NY International Fringe Festival and some other places. She received her MFA in creative writing from Emerson College, where she majored in choppy sentences. Carla thanks you for reading her words and kindly asks you to read more of them at carlasosenko.com. Follow her @carlasosenko. She thinks you rule.

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