• Inspired by Bridesmaids, idiot teacher assaults student like a total idiot

    The headline on Daily Mail reads: “Teacher ‘slapped pupil in the face six times because she forgot notebook in imitation of Bridesmaids movie.'” Upon reading this, I had to check the website several times to reconfirm it wasn’t The Onion. Yep, it’s still the Daily Mail.

    Law enforcement reports to TMZ that a 9th grader at Malibu High School, Dionne Evans, went to the cops a few days ago to report a teacher who assaulted her. Evans claimed her teacher slapped her in the face six times on May 22 because she forgot to bring her notebook to class. Apparently, the teacher made Evans stand in front of the class. The teacher then asked her, “Did you see ‘Bridesmaids‘?” and proceeded to slap her several times.

    Look, Teach, I saw Bridesmaids just like everyone else but I don’t recall the scene where Kristen Wiig was publicly humiliated in front of her high school class and corporal punishment was suddenly legal again in California. I think a nice paddling or a time-out sends a firm message to a student, but you’ve got to double check what state you’re in first (currently 31 states in the U.S. have banned corporal punishment).

    The Daily Mail and TMZ seem to think that this is the scene the teacher was trying to reenact with Evans as the unwilling participant.

    At least the teacher didn’t bite her butt…?

    By the way, have you guys seen Braveheart?

    Samantha Simon

    Samantha is a writer, musician, person living in New York City. She enjoys cooking and talking about her mom. Follow her on Twitter: @smoochiecoochie.

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