Last Week Tonight may not return to HBO until February 8, but John Oliver is still making us laugh with his hilarious web videos. In his latest clip, he auditioned for the upcoming film Fifty Shades Of Grey while “apologizing” to the movie’s star, Jamie Dornan, for the #NotMyChristian hashtag.
“In the grand tradition of television personalities who’ve made mistakes, I would like to offer a condescending, half-hearted apology that I don’t really mean,” John Oliver began in this Fifty Shades Of Grey video. “ …I’m sorry if anyone was offended by my incredibly accurate evaluation of the casting choice for a movie whose target audience, going by the trailer, seems to be suburban mothers of three who’ve somehow never had sex before.”
“The Cuban embargo dates back to the Kennedy era and at the time, it probably made some sense,” Oliver said at the time. “We’d just been through the Cuba Missile Crisis, which was the closest we’d ever been to Armageddon until the explosive reaction to the Fifty Shades of Grey casting announcement. I’m sorry, but Jamie Dornan has all the charisma of a sandwich bag filled with iceberg lettuce. He is not my Christian, hashtag notmychristian.”
But in Monday’s video, John Oliver admitted the real reason he was so upset at Dornan. Naturally the host was angry that Fifty Shades Of Grey producers passed him over for the lead role of Christian Grey, who was been described as the “epitome of male beauty.”
“It hurts not to have even been asked [to play Christian Grey],” John Oliver said. “Sure, you passed me over for the ‘epitome of male beauty,’ but whenever you need a Caucasian foreigner or a cheerful weakling, suddenly my phone’s blowing up.”
So John Oliver decided to show exactly why he would have been the perfect choice to star in Fifty Shades Of Grey. The rest of his video featured his audition for the role of Christian Grey, even though a) he hasn’t read the book and b) the movie has already been made. Naturally, this audition included Oliver’s sexy voice, a She’s All That reference, and even handcuffs.