• Lisa Lampanelli reveals her Donald Trump roast plan of attack

    Lisa LampanelliTwo days ago, Comedy Central announced the list of folks who would be hurling insults toward Donald Trump during the taping of the network’s roast of the man, premiering March 15 at 10:30 pm EST. Whitney Cummings, Anthony Jeselnik, Lisa Lampanelli, and Jeffrey Ross as well as Snoop Dogg, Larry King and The Jersey Shore’s The Situation will all be on hand.

    While the actual roast is being taped this coming Wednesday in New York City, I checked in with roast and insult comic goddess Lisa Lampanelli to find out what her plan of attack will be.

    “Luckily, when Comedy Central picks the people they roast, they always choose someone who has so much wrong with him that there is no shortage of material,” Lampanelli tells Punchline Magazine. “That happened with David Hasselhoff (hairy chest, drunk, crazy cheeseburger video, washed-up career) and Flavor Flav (ugly, clock around the neck, washed-up career). The same is true for Trump. He has that well-documented awful hair, that arrogant attitude, and three baby mamas! I mean, that’s as many as Lil Wayne has! Who woulda thunk it?!? And his ruthless self-promotion is unparalleled. So, let’s just say there will be enough material to go around. It’ll be tough to limit the roast to 90 minutes!”

    The Roast of David Hasselhoff
    Uncensored – Lisa Lampanelli – The Young and the Restless

    When I asked her if she’d go after Trump’s trophy wife Melania, surprisingly, Lisa explained that wasn’t part of her plan. “I usually don’t go after the wives and kids. It’s not a moral issue certainly, it’s just that it’s more fun to make fun of the people on the stage. That being said, if a great joke about Melania or his gay-looking son, Donald Jr., come up between now and the roast, it’s all fair game!”

    Finally, Lampanelli is already getting loose by throwing insults at her fellow roasters, using Trump, of course, as the joke catalyst: “Trump’s bank account goes up and down more than Jeffrey Ross’ tits when he walks, and his “You’re Fired” expression is staler than Whitney Cummings’ queefs.”

    I can’t imagine what will fly from Lampanelli’s mouth during the real thing. We’ll just have to wait and see.

    Dylan P. Gadino

    Dylan is the founder and editor emeritus of Laughspin.

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