• Louis Katz: If These Balls Could Talk

    Louis KatzHalfway through If These Balls Could Talk (which, incidentally, is probably the most aptly-titled comedy album of the year), Louis Katz offers an apology: “I’m sorry I talk about sex so much.” It is a lie. He is not sorry, not even slightly. And if you’re in the mood for a delightfully irreverent trip straight into the gutter, you won’t be sorry, either.

    Katz maintains a fast and self-assured delivery throughout the entire album. Even without visuals, you can feel his confidence onstage as he covers everything from the humble platypus (“the pre-op transvestite of the animal kingdom’) to vegans (“People who won’t eat anything that is made by or with flavor”) to the smell of a homeless person, which he describes with the same eloquent language usually reserved for a fine wine.

    But the bulk of the album addresses Katz’s obsession with all things carnal. You’ll learn about his threesome with two fat women, the various things he likes to do with other people’s feet, and the pros and cons of his small hands – “terrible for fixing stuff, but great for fisting.” He knows that he goes too far sometimes, and he’s happy to go there. On the few occasions the audience groans, Katz typically laughs. “I like that sound,” he says at one point. “It’s gonna get worse.”

    His audience never deserts him, though, because Katz weaves in the perfect amount of self-deprecating humor– such as, why he doesn’t want to find a woman anything like himself: “I’m not trying to double all these genes. How much shorter and blinder could our kids possibly get? I’m going to hook up with some other short, nearsighted chick? We’re not going to have kids, we’re gonna have a bunch of freaky little mole babies. They’ll keep burrowing up the yard, lowering the property value.”


    So at this point in the review, I’m supposed to tell you all the things I didn’t like, but I really don’t have much to say in that department. There are a few unoriginal jokes and a couple too-long pauses. But I’m really just grasping at straws. If These Balls Could Talk is a consistently excellent offering. Get it. Katz might take you someplace you weren’t prepared to go, but you’ll be glad that he did.

    Snag yourself a copy of If These Balls Could Talk. Just click the image below!

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