That David Cross figurine you never thought about is finally here

You know how you’ve always wanted your very own miniature likeness of David Cross, so that you can have those impassioned conversations late at night about your favorite indie bands and about how there is no God and how the Bible is total horseshit?

Well, the day has come. Through a partnership between Aggronautix and Austin’s annual music and comedy festival, the Fun Fun Fun Fest, you can now pre-order a 7-inch, polyresin version — a Throbblehead! — of the stand-up comic, writer and actor.

“Wow! What a true honor to be amongst this line-up of some of my personal heroes,” Cross typed, most likely with the most sarcastic expression he could summon upon his face. “I personally have a G.G. Allin and Tesco Vee Throbblehead sitting on my shelf at home, as well as a copy of ‘Henry and Glenn Forever’ that I bought for a poet friend of mine. This should make a great stocking stuffer, should anyone care to have their stockings stuffed. And keep in mind, 0% of the proceeds go to charity!”

You’d probably expect to pay something like $300,000 for an item like this; we are talking about polyresin, after all. However, you’re expectations would be way off. This piece of comedy history — and dare I say, Americana — is going for the reasonable price of $19.95.

You can order your Cross doll (doll. we said it!) here; it’ll ship in late November. And get this, if you plan on hitting the Fun Fun Fun Fest from Nov. 2 – 4, you can purchase it there and get it signed! Maybe Cross will even make fun of you for buying it!

Dylan P. Gadino

Dylan is the founder and editor emeritus of Laughspin.

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